Do You Want to Be Right, or Do You Want to Be Effective?
Most people think that winning an argument means proving they’re right. In business, that instinct can be a major liability. Because being right doesn’t matter if no one buys in.
Your brain is wired to crave validation. We are cognitively biased to defend our opinions, even when it alienates the very people we need on our side. Leaders fall into this trap all the time. They lay out logical arguments, present airtight data, and assume that if they just explain things clearly enough, others will come around.
But here’s the hard truth: Logic alone doesn’t drive action. People don’t follow ideas just because they’re correct. They follow ideas that make sense to them—ideas that align with their interests, values, and emotions.
The Problem: No Buy-In, No Progress
Whether you’re a leader trying to drive change or an employee pitching an idea, you need one thing to succeed: buy-in. Without it, even the best ideas fall flat.
Think about the last time you tried to persuade someone—a team member, a boss, or a client. Did you focus on proving your point? Or did you focus on making it easy for them to want to agree with you?
Many leaders assume that if their logic is sound, others will see the light. But the reality is, people resist being convinced. No one likes to be told they’re wrong. When someone feels pushed, their instinct is to push back—even if your argument is objectively correct.
The Insight: Stop Trying to Win—Make Them Win
The most effective communicators don’t focus on proving themselves right. Instead, they focus on making the other person feel right. They align their message with what the other person values and believes.
This is where persuasion shifts from being a battle to being a bridge. When you stop arguing and start aligning, you move from confrontation to collaboration. You’re not forcing an idea on someone—you’re showing them how it helps them get what they already want.
The Solution: How to Get People to Buy In
Instead of proving you’re right, focus on making your idea resonate. Here’s how:
✅ Ask the Right Questions: Instead of launching into why you’re right, ask them what they want. What are their priorities? What challenges do they face? The more you understand their perspective, the easier it is to frame your idea in terms of their goals.
✅ Make It About Them: People don’t buy into ideas because they’re logical—they buy in because it benefits them. Show how your idea makes their job easier, their team more successful, or their vision come to life.
✅ Let Go of the Need to Be Right: Leadership isn’t about winning arguments—it’s about winning trust. Sometimes, that means letting others take ownership of an idea, even if you know it was yours all along.
The Bottom Line
The next time you’re in a high-stakes conversation, ask yourself: Do I want to be right, or do I want to be effective? Because in business, success isn’t about proving a point—it’s about making progress.
The leaders who create real change aren’t the ones who argue the loudest. They’re the ones who understand this simple truth: People don’t follow the best ideas. They follow the ideas that make sense to them.